Runners are Weird: Break The Rules and Thrive

Let’s get one thing straight, running doesn’t have to be serious. Despite the fact the internet will tell you compression socks and a meticulously curated training plan are a must, there’s no one right way to run. In fact, sometimes the most unconventional approaches yield the best results—not just in performance, but in overall enjoyment of the sport.

If you’ve ever looked at a training plan and thought, Nah, I’d rather just wing it, or if you’ve ever shoved a gas station burrito into your hydration pack and called it “nutrition,” then congratulations, you’re already halfway there.

It’s time to reject the unnecessary rules, embrace the oddball hacks, and find joy in the sheer absurdity of this thing we do.

1. Gear Hacks That Work

You don’t need a $200 hydration vest, space-age carbon shoes, or a watch that requires a PhD to operate. The best running gear is whatever keeps you moving comfortably while also making you laugh at yourself. Here are a few effective gear choices:

• Gas station gloves: Forget fancy thermal gloves—those white, cotton $1.99 gas station gloves will keep your hands warm and make sure everyone clearly sees when you wave.

• Duct tape: Blister prevention, shoe repair, makeshift bandage, or an emergency wallet—duct tape is the Swiss Army knife of the running world. Wrap some around your water bottle for easy access.

• The T-shirt you found on the trail: Free gear is free gear. Bonus points if it’s wildly inappropriate for running, like a cotton dress shirt or a “Spring Break ‘99” tank top.

• Crocs for recovery: Say what you will, but if you haven’t slipped into Crocs post-ultra, you haven’t truly lived.

Moral of the story? Fancy gear is great, but creativity and a lack of shame will get you further than a high credit card bill ever will.

2. Eat Like a Trash Goblin

Runners are often obsessed with fueling—macros, electrolytes, “clean eating.” Meanwhile, some of the greatest endurance performances in history have been fueled by pure chaos.

Consider the following legendary aid station cuisine:

• Potato chips, M&Ms, gummy bears, and pickle juice? Yes, please.

• Mashed potatoes in a cup? Don’t question it, just eat it.

• Peanut butter and jelly sandwich squares and coke. Might as well be Michelin-star dining.

Some people swear by cold pizza and Pop-Tarts mid-race. If it gets calories in your body and doesn’t make you projectile vomit, it’s good fuel. Don’t overthink it.

3. Mental Tricks of the Deranged

Running is just as much a mental game as it is a physical one. Some people visualize success. Others use mantras. Choose your approach and if it works, go with it.

• Name your pain: If something hurts, give it a name. “Shut up Greg, nobody asked for your opinion.” Now you’re not in pain—you’re just arguing with Greg.

• Pretend you’re being chased: Whether it’s zombies, the IRS, or the cocaine bear, trick your brain into moving faster by engaging in a little self-inflicted paranoia.

• Sing terrible songs on repeat: When your brain turns to mush, latch onto the most annoying song you know and sing it internally (or out loud). “It’s a Small World” is a surprisingly effective way to stay alert at mile 90.

Sometimes, the key to surviving long miles isn’t grit—it’s figuring out how to outsmart yourself.

4. Break Running “Rules” That Never Mattered Anyway

There are a lot of so-called “rules” in the running world. And while some of them make sense (hydration is good, stretching probably won’t kill you), others are just unnecessary barriers to fun. Let’s break a few:

• “Never try new food on race day.” If you’re not at least mildly experimenting with your nutrition, are you even racing?

• “Negative splits are the best way to race.” Cool in theory, but sometimes sprinting the first half and death-marching the second is just way more fun.

• “Rest days are essential.” Or maybe you just need an active rest day, which is the same as a regular run day.

• “You must have a training plan.” Plans are great, but so is waking up and deciding, “Today I shall run until I find good donuts.”

Run however you want. No one’s handing out gold stars for perfect pacing.

5. The “Dirtbag” Philosophy: Run for the Story

At the end of the day, most of us aren’t getting paid to do this. We’re not breaking records, signing sponsorship deals, or winning races. So why take it so seriously?

The best runs aren’t the ones where you hit your perfect splits. The best runs are the ones where you got lost, found a cool, abandoned building, ate a questionable snack, and came back with a story to tell.

Gary Cantrell (creator of the Barkley Marathons) once said, “It’s not supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be hard. The hard is what makes it great.”

So take the unmarked trail. Eat the gas station burrito. Talk to the trees. And run for the adventure, not the outcome.

And most importantly—never believe anyone when they say “it’s all downhill from here.” It never is.

See you on the trail!